Pretentious Burger Kitchen, High St, Newport

Regular readers (bless your hearts, both of you, and don't think I don't notice) might recall coming across PBK when I first visited their busy Bristol-based popup in February 2015; but the plan was always to return home to South Wales, so Newport is first. High St, a few doors from the new Urban Tap House by local brewing heroes Tiny Rebel and near the new Friars' Walk shopping centre, is now their home. 

It's been over a year since I last looked in. How are Pretentious doing now they have made that transition from popup to permanent? 

The new place has a roughspun charm. There's a huge chalkboard for menu options, varnished wooden floors and much is reclaimed and recycled. It's pretty much what you'd expect from a startup, a 'no frills' kind of functionality.

There are now seven 'set' burgers on the menu, all featuring their signature 6oz patty. It's here that Pretentious feel they have the edge on many competitors, as they mince and form their beef themselves, using the method popularised by Heston Blumenthal for a distinctive texture. (See my previous piece here for more details).

Each burger, in a nice touch, has a suggested fries pairing from their (wait for it) 'pommelier'. Well, it made me titter... 

They have stayed true to their from-scratch principles. From bread to burger to sauces, almost everything you eat is made freshly on site, with an emphasis on the locally-sourced for toppings. Their bread, freshly baked each day, is a lovely burnished brioche which seems remarkably light, yet sturdy enough to hold some serious meat. 

From the name 'brisket bites' I imagined a pot of burnt ends, similar to the excellent ones I had around the corner last year at Dirty South. What arrived though was something altogether more complex, the result of six hours' worth of braising in wine and stock bolstered with root vegetables, the ingredients cooled and shredded and formed before being coated in panko breadcrumbs and deep fried.

In effect, these are brisket nuggets. And damn fine they are, too: time well spent, the meat oozing with a touch of mozzarella and making for an impressive start. The wholegrain mustard mayonnaise is a lovely thing, too: various homemade sauces are provided, though I'd swerve the B**tard hot sauce unless you want to be overly familiar with the Japanese flag the following day. It kicks like a dyspeptic donkey. 

A Kevin Bacon is a handsome thing. In fact, first impressions are that these are now better-looking burgers than last time: more balanced somehow. Topping it all is a candied rasher, but it's the patty that's the star, picking up some smoky char while delivering that tenderness you hope for. 



The fries, slathered with baconnaise and little bits of pig, go the whole hog. 

The Pretentious Burger keeps it simple and classic, with bacon and cheese. The fries are almost perfect- another half-minute in oil, perhaps?- but for Welsh mature cheddar, caramelised onions and their house smoky mayonnaise, I'd forgive an awful lot more than that. And bacon. Always bacon.

It's a shame the chips are bought-in, rather than true to the spirit of everything else. They acknowledge this as an inconsistency, due to the strictures of space: clearly something has to give, and their meat prep isn't going to be it, as it's key to what sets them apart. To compromise on that, you feel, would be asking them to betray a dearly-held principle. And principles are important in this game. 

When I asked my son what he thought of our meal, he came out with 'Huge. Tasty. Quality'. 

Which, as anyone acquainted with the laconic- downright taciturn- ways of  teenage boys will readily attest, is something approaching the most purple of prose. 

It's hard to imagine that Newport has much to rival Pretentious. Even in the keenly competitive high-end burger arena of Cardiff, these burgers would quite easily and comfortably slot in among the very best around. Newport clearly has some way to go to make ground on its larger neighbour just down the M4. But at least with places like Pretentious, it is heading firmly in the right direction. 

I was invited to eat at Pretentious and all food was complimentary. This did not oblige me to write a positive review: I call it as I see it. 

16 High St
Newport
NP20 1FW

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Opening Times:
MON – WED: CLOSED
THUR – SAT: 12:00 – 21:00
SUN: 12:00 – 20:00

01633 547979

Newport